


When I Go To Sleep, I Dream I'm In Darkness

by TexMexTwins



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Gen, Hallucinations, Numbness, Panic Attacks, everyone is dealing with trauma post balance arc, i love sibling bonds more than anything, lup has a panic attack and taako has to talk her down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 15:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11740173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TexMexTwins/pseuds/TexMexTwins
Summary: Taako has never been a heavy sleeper. Whether it’s a result of his childhood, having to always be on high alert, or just a personality trait, the matter stands: even the smallest of noises is enough to wake him. This is why he’s not very pleased when the gentle ding of his stone of farspeech rouses him from a deep slumber.Lup calls Taako in the middle of the night in a panic. Taako talks her down.





	When I Go To Sleep, I Dream I'm In Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Boy I sure do love angst don't I. Angst and sibling bonds are two of my favorite things to write, so here's both of them in one! Enjoy the pain and be sure to let me know what you think and what I can improve on!

Taako has never been a heavy sleeper. Whether it’s a result of his childhood, having to always be on high alert, or just a personality trait, the matter stands: even the smallest of noises is enough to wake him. In the past, he’s often found himself woken by noises outside his window, or the loud chatter of people in the next room over. Elves don’t really need to sleep, and so the frequent wake-ups don’t do much to him physically, but that doesn’t stop him from being grumpy, which is why he’s not very pleased when the gentle  _ ding _ of his stone of farspeech rouses him from a deep slumber.

Kravitz continues to sleep beside him in their shared bed, being a much heavier sleeper himself, and so Taako reaches out a hand blindly, fumbling around on his bedside table until his fingers finally close around the stone. It sheds a dim light in the dark room, signalling an incoming call. He sits up and wipes some of the sleep from his eyes, tapping the stone to answer the call. “Who the fuck is calling me at this ungodly hour of the morning?” he growls. He blinks until his darkvision kicks in, the various furnishings of his bedroom appearing in shades of gray.

_ “Taako?”  _ Lup’s panicked voice comes through the stone, and immediately Taako is wide awake. She sounds frightened, her voice shaking in a way that even he has rarely heard. It’s not like Lup to sound so vulnerable, and it makes every hair on Taako’s body stand in unease.

“Lup? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Taako asks, feeling dread pool in the pit of his stomach.

_ “Taako, I can’t see. I-I can’t find my body. Everything is numb, I can’t move, I-” _

Taako clenches the stone of farspeech in his hands tightly, knuckles white. “Slow down, Lup, tell me where you are. Is there anyone with you? Where’s Barry?”

Lup’s shuddering breath comes across the speakers, crackling and a bit broken up, and the sounds sends a shiver down Taako’s spine.  _ “I don’t know, i-it’s so dark, I can’t see anything. I can’t find Barry.”  _ she says, and Taako draws a sharp breath. Her darkvision should have let her at least see something, and her talk about being numb set off alarm bells in Taako’s head. This has happened before, but never in the middle of the night. Never when Taako was separated from her like this.

“Oh god, why now?” he whispers, too quiet for Lup to hear. He swallows down a lump in his throat. “Lup, listen to me, okay? You’re not in the umbrella anymore. You have a body. Say something to me, Lup. Can you feel your tongue?”

There are a few seconds of silence on Lup’s end of the line, and then Lup says,  _ “I… I feel it. _

Taako lets out a little breath. Progress. “You’re holding a stone of farspeech in your hand. That’s how you called me. Can you move your fingers?”

Another stretch of silence. Taako hears, faintly, the rustling of fabric.  _ “I have hands,”  _ Lup breathes, as though this was some sort of revelation she’d never noticed before. It’s a good sign.

“Good, you’re going great, Lup,” Taako praises, feeling a brief swell of relief. “You have feet, too. Can you move your legs for me?”

_ “I-I think so,” _ Lup replies, and Taako hears another rustling.  _ “I can feel them.” _

Her voice is still shaking, but she’s improving, just slightly. Taako can hear her frantic breathing on the other side of their connection, but it’s slowing. “Good job, keeping moving them. Can you feel the sheets on your bed? You’re in your apartment, just outside Neverwinter. Do you see the pattern of your quilt?”

Lup lets out a long, shaky breath.  _ “I see it,”  _ she whispers, and Taako relaxes a little.

Pushing a hand through his hair, he allows himself a moment to catch his breath and slow his heartbeat. “You’re doing fantastic. Look around you. Do you recognize where you are? Do you see Barry in bed with you?” he asks.

_ “I see him,” _ Lup says, and she sounds a bit calmer now, if still a little dazed. “ _ I’m in my apartment. I’m… Oh. Oh, no.” _

“You okay, Lup?” Taako asks. “You went a little crazy there.” He smiles a bit, slumping down in bed. His muscles are wound tight, and he tries to relax them.

_ “It happened again, didn’t it? I-” _

Taako frowns. “Stop right there. If you’re gonna apologize then just stop, ‘cause I don’t wanna hear it.” Beside him. Kravitz stirs, mumbling something incoherent. “We’ve talked about this, Lup. Not your fault. I don’t care if you wake me at fucking three in the morning. This is important shit.”

On the other side of the connection, Lup laughs a little, and Taako hears a tired grumble.  _ “Lup? What are you doing awake? Are you okay?” _

_ “I’m… I’ll be okay, just give me a second. It was just a little freak-out.” _

“Save your breath, Barold, I got this shit handled,” Taako puts in, eliciting another snicker from Lup. “Seriously, though. You alright, Lup? Want me to come over? You know I will, it’ll take me, like, thirty seconds.”

Lup whispers something inaudible to Barry, then answers,  _ “Nah, I think I’m okay. Did I interrupt your beauty sleep?” _

Taako snorts. “Please, I don’t need sleep to be beautiful,” he jibes, and takes immense pleasure from Barry’s exasperated sigh. He softens a bit, taking pity. “I’m glad you’re okay. You sure you’ll be alright by yourself tonight?”

Barry’s voice interrupts whatever Lup is about to answer with, grumbling,  _ “What am I, chopped liver?” _

_ “Don’t be jealous, babe,”  _ Lup teases, and Taako snickers.  _ “It’s not like I ignored you on purpose. I didn’t really know you were there. I guess Taako was the first person that come to mind that I could call. I wasn’t exactly… lucid.” _

Beside Taako, Kravitz lifts his head at last. He yawns, sitting up and blinking wearily. “Taako, what’s going on? Who’s calling?”

Taako flashes him a quick, tired smile. “Just Lup. Don’t worry, everything’s cool. Go back to bed, handsome.”

Kravitz hums and rolls over so that he’s closer to Taako, draping an arm over his lap. Taako returns to the stone of farspeech. Lup and Barry are talking in murmuring voices, and Taako can hear the concern in Barry’s voice as he talks. When the conversation lulls, Lup says,  _ “Taako? You still there?” _

“Yeah, I’m here,” Taako answers.

_ “Thanks for helping me out.” _

Taako smiles. “Anytime.” He opens his mouth to say more, but is interrupted by Angus, who opens the door to the bedroom, his glasses perched crookedly on his nose.

“What’s going on?” He asks, venturing over to the bed. Taako scoots over, making room for him to clamber up beside him.

“You woke my boy,” Taako says into the stone, putting on a faux-accusatory tone, but he’s grinning.

Lup laughs. The tremble in her voice is gone, Taako notes gratefully.  _ “Oops, my bad. Can I talk to him?” _ she asks, and Taako hands the stone to Angus, who accepts it with one hand while muffling his yawn with the other and straightening his glasses.

“G’morning, Aunt Lup,” he greets, ever polite, and Taako zones out their conversation for a moment and turns to Kravitz. He’s still awake, looking up at Taako sleepily, and he quirks an eyebrow questioningly.

“Lup had a… let’s call it a rough morning,” Taako murmurs. “I think she’s alright now, though. Barry’s with her.”

Kravitz nods and sits up, scrubbing his face with his hands briefly. Taako turns back to Angus, who’s giggling at something Lup said.  _ “Give the stone back to Taako, will ya? I wanna say goodnight,” _ Lup says, and Angus says a quick goodnight to Lup before handing the stone back to Taako. He lays his head down on Taako’s pillow, fitting himself against Taako’s side, and Taako lets him, holding the stone back up.

_ “I should get back to sleep. Barry looks like he’s about to pass out again,” _ Lup says affectionately.  _ “Thanks again, Taako. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t picked up when you did.” _

Taako smiles gently, feeling a rare wave of affection. “I’m always here if you need me to talk you down,” he says sincerely. “You can call me anytime, or knock on the door if you need me there in person. We’re, like, basically neighbors, so go nuts.”

Lup laughs, warm and gentle.  _ “I’ll keep that in mind. Love you, bro.” _

“Love you too, sis.” The stone of farspeech goes dark once again, and Taako reaches over Angus’s form to place it back on the nightstand. Angus is already asleep again, nestled into Taako’s side, and his glasses are falling off his face. Taako sighs, plucking the glasses from his face and folding them up neatly on the nightstand next to the stone, and shimmies down under the covers again so that Angus sleeps against his side.

Kravitz shifts his arm to wrap it around Taako’s waist, silently pulling him and Angus closer. He tugs on the covers to pull them up to Angus’s shoulders, then lays his head down again. “Is she gonna be okay?” he asks. “It seems like these panic attacks are happening pretty frequently.”

Taako smiles and kisses Kravitz lightly on the nose. “She’ll be fine. She’s made of steel,” he says. “We’ve all got stuff we have to take care of. It’s gonna take some time, but we’ll be okay, I think.”

Kravitz smiles and leans forward to peck Taako’s forehead affectionately. “I’ll take your word for it. Sleep tight, dear.”

Taako hums in acknowledgement, letting his eyes fall shut, deciding that he’ll drop some blueberry scones off at Lup and Barry’s the next morning. For now, though, he’s content to lay there, flanked on both sides by two of his favorite people, and sleep.


End file.
